EP13 Movin’ on up

Or down, or over, but whatever you do, don’t end up under. New guest. New rules. What’s America without a little current events? We all feel the need to know what is going on in everyone else’s life, hence the birth and blow up of reality T.V. (which by the way we absolutely love-no hate here). So a little chit chat about MTV Teen Moms was bound to happen sooner or later. These drama lovin’ mamas give us a reason to thank God- or whatever power you believe in, that we have the lives we live. Or not. Because frankly, if MTV wanted to send a camera crew to my house that wouldn’t mind peeing in my dirty bathroom instead of a porta-potty parked in Farrah’s driveway, well then hell, send them. I’ll give you my direct deposit info ASAP.

Summer in a bottle exists. And it’s a must for anyone looking for a sweet ass Rose sesh. It’s delicious and gets the job done. Very nicely I might add. We can’t tell you what was in the second bottle (because yea we brought back up) but we can tell you that it went down twice as fast because it was twice as good. So, we’ll get back to you on this one.

Moving into the same home as my ex-homie? Probably never gonna happen. Unless of course it was by complete freak accident. And try telling his new wife that accidents like that happen. Ha, yea right, she’s gonna go with that one. But let’s get serious for a second. You find yourself at a crossroads of sorts, and you decide to pick up the pieces and pull up your big girl pants and move on and up into a one bedroom apartment. A few days later, you realize right under you (no pun intended) is your ex-boo and his NEWlywed bride. Ugh. Nah, double ugh. Because 1. they were there first. And 2. You still kind of think about what life would be like had you chose his path. And ironically, you’re on it. Literally. Yea, this is going to go over well.

To top it off, in the midst of your own insanity, the other unit contains a bit of mental instability of it’s own. The crazy lady neighbor that everyone dreads. The drama inducer, the manipulator, the one who always takes the winning side. Great. No winning here. Throw in a friend who you thought was a friend and decided not to be your friend anymore. Well then, in the end, we’re pretty much lost in a whirlwind of “what the fuck just happened?”s.

Why even try to grow up? What’s the fucking sense? It always backfires in your face. Here’s a PSA kids: Fuck Nike-Don’t do it.

Listen to the episode. You’ll understand.

DISCLAIMER: One bottle sometimes does not equal too little. Pace yourselves. And as always, of course, drink responsibly.

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