Well, them, the germs hopefully. Thanks to some uninvited little buggers, I missed out on some Holiday happenings this weekend, which has me totally bummed. As I sit on my bum, waiting to feel better, I’ll live vicariously through my other half- who refused to breathe the same air as me today- and experience life from the other side. The drinks were plenty, and plenty pretty. And I have to admit I’m pretty upset that my vodka drinking custom outfit that was rush shipped and made it on time did not make an appearance. But Santa’s Favorite Ho did and she kept the Holiday Spirit alive in my absence. While she was sipping on Pomegranate spritzers and some Holly Jolly Cocktails, elegantly engaging in cocktail conversation, I was snuggled all up in my bed wondering how long I would last if I attempted to get out of bed and suck it up.
And, speaking of sucking it up, our perception of our new found interest in vodka sodas is up for debate. One of us feels that the Vodka soda is economical, so long as we learn to sip it slowly. However, the other party seems to experience something quite different. Is the drink stronger (and so much more expensive) than our usual beer, or is it a facade? I have felt that after several drinks, I can still formulate intelligent sentences, stand up straight, walk a straight line, and remember where I put down my phone. While on the other side of the fence, the thought is, we must remember that it is not beer and chugging a Tito’s and Sprite might end us up on the floor sooner than later. Unfortunately, the only I have caught from Tito lately was a headache.
December is here, and with it brings very little downtime, but also brings some forced cheer. So if you are obligated to go to any holiday functions in the near future, just remember liquor or beer-stay clear…of irresponsible drinking. Do not drive, do not text, and most importantly, DO NOT DO YOUR EX!
Until next week bitches, make sure to follow us on Instagram, hook up on Facebook, and eavesdrop on all the podcast platforms: iTunes, Spotify, TuneIn, Stitcher, and YouTube.
We love you more than Santa loves his hos.